


Pearl

by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)



Series: Steter Week 2018 [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Corpse Disposal, Cryptids, M/M, Murder Husbands, a garnish of Scott negativity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:29:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15416001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanyofthekids/pseuds/twothumbsandnostakeincanon
Summary: Day Three of Steter Week, Murder Husbands:“You got me a corpse disposal birthday present?”





	Pearl

**Author's Note:**

> This is the shortest of my works for the week, but don't let that fool you into thinking it's not also the most ridiculous of my works for the week.

“I am so-” 

**WHACK**

“fucking-” 

**WHACK**

_ “sick-” _

**WHACK**

“of hacking up dead bodies.” 

**WHACK WHACK** **_THUNK_ **

Stiles angrily chucked another foot into the tub.

“I know, dear,” Peter soothed from his side of the chopping block. “Only two more to go, and then we’re done.”

“Yeah, for  _ today.” _ Stiles scowled. “Until the next bag of dicks decides they want possession of the nemeton, or to take the ‘True Alpha Power,’ or do a fucking hostile takeover of Winco or whatever.”

The sarcasm over the words “True Alpha” brought a small smirk to Peter’s face, lighting up his undying petty streak. Scott had long since abandoned his post in Beacon Hills, leaving them for a veterinary school several hours away. Unfortunately, the rest of the world hadn’t received the memo and continued to come looking for him. 

Stiles had been shocked when Scott simply fucked off, saying that the danger would follow him and leave Beacon Hills in peace. Stiles argued and pleaded with him the entire week preceding his departure, listing all the reasons that Beacon Hills, and his father and Melissa, could not be left unprotected. Their final fight had ended with significant property damage, and Scott limping out of town.

Not that it truly mattered. Peter had been prepared. He’d gone away for a weekend and come back with red eyes and a proposition for Stiles. 

Without Scott there, Peter smoothly shifted the protection of the town to himself and his new emissary. It wasn’t really much of a shift; they’d been the ones to take care of most problems for a while anyway, but they could be more above board about it now. Before long, protection of the town grew into protection of each other. Pack and mates. 

However, it still left them with the unpleasant task of clean up.

“Can we burn this tomorrow night?” Stiles whined through an enormous yawn. “I’m so,” another yawn,  _ “tired.” _

“Sure, baby. Do you want me to drive you home?”

Stiles shook his head, already stumbling back towards Peter’s bedroom. They made it through a quick, perfunctory shower together with Peter doing most of the work while Stiles focused on not falling asleep and drowning himself.

Once they were in bed, Peter curled up behind Stiles, an arm wrapped around his waist. 

“Goodnight sweetheart,” he whispered into the warm skin of Stiles’ neck. 

“Goo’nbmt,” Stiles mumbled, and was out like a light.

Peter stayed awake a little longer.

* * *

 

Two weeks later, the head of a troll lay at the feet of Stiles as he heaved for breath. 

“Uuuuugh,” he moaned. “Look at the size of him. This is going to take us twelve hours at least. Jesus fuck, where are we even going to chop him up? He won’t fit anywhere!!” Stiles brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, relieving his pre-emptive stress headache. 

Peter came up behind him, wrapping him up in his arms, uncaring of the bits of viscera they were both covered in. 

“I think I actually have a solution for that. I was going to wait another week for your birthday, but we might as well use it now.”

Stiles pulled his head to the side to look at Peter suspiciously. 

“You got me a corpse disposal birthday present?”

“In part.”

“...Which part?”

Peter pulled back from Stiles ear and whistled a four note tune. There was silence for a moment, and then-

A squeal rang through the forest. “Squeal” was perhaps the wrong word for it, though. It was like a cross between a scream, a siren, and a whine, all layered and then blasted through a wall of speakers. 

It was the sound a mother might make to call her child, if she hated her child and never wanted to see them again.

Stiles stumbled back, but Peter gripped him securely, saying, “Sh, don’t worry. She adores me, and I’m sure she’ll love you just as much.”

“‘She??’”

“Yes, she’s a juvenile female according to the breeders.”

_ “‘Breeders???’” _

Just then, a twelve foot long  _ thing _ barrelled through the trees and launched itself at the dead troll, immediately chowing down. 

Stiles stood with his mouth open, staring. She predominantly looked like a humongous river otter, but with what basically amounted to a mermaid tail instead of a normal otter tail. She tore into the flesh with a mouth full of far too many sharp teeth, swallowing it down. 

“I haven’t named her yet, I thought we could do that together,” Peter said, looking on with pride. 

Stiles was still stunned. “You… you got me a pet dobhar-chú for my birthday. So that I wouldn’t have to chop up dead bodies anymore.” 

“Mm-hm.”

Stiles turned to face him. “God, I love you  _ so fucking much.” _ He took Peter’s pleased face in his hands and kissed him soundly. 

When he finally pulled back, Peter said, “Well, she’s half of your gift. The other half…” he trailed off, suddenly looking a little nervous. “She needs to live in water, so I’ve been keeping her in the lake just north of the preserve. But she also needs a lot of attention…”

“Peter, what are you saying?” Stiles asked, confused.

“I bought land that backs up to the lake,” he said, still hedging. “I’ve been talking to builders, and I want you to talk to the builders too. If you want.”

“You want me- Peter, are you saying that you want to build a house for us?” Stiles said, voice getting more excited with every word. 

Peter, obviously relieved, said, “We’ve talked about moving in together for a while, and if we’re going to have a pet-”

“A pet dobhar-chú for corpse disposal,” Stiles inserted, still clearly delighted. 

“-then we should have a home perfectly suited to that.”

Stiles grinned at him. “You’re amazing. This is a great idea. Let’s name her Pearl, I want to talk to the builders about building a little house for her.”

Pearl continued tearing into the body behind them, happily munching through bones, while Peter and Stiles debated whether they should order her a personalized leather collar or perhaps something neoprene. 


End file.
